Self sabotage slave...

Sabotage comes in so many forms, from not doing exercise and taking our vitamins to pushing people away that we love, or acting like a knob in relationships. It comes in waves and it is when we are most vulnerable and need some extra love.
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The first thing we ca do is to accept responsibility and stop the revolving doors. Being SELF AWARE of being a slave to self sabotage. The same as we need to be aware of our emotions and emotional weather we need to be aware of our actions and words, and how they can too be negative.
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Understand and accepting that we can't always be happy and there are 3 other emotions that we have and need to experience, sadness, fear and anger. And we need to be extra kind to ourselves and not bury our heads when we feel these emotions. Embrace them and express them healthily.
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For most of us life isn't smooth sailing and the journey has been a bumpy one. We are constantly learning and growing. Nothing will change in your life until you realise that your actions are self destructive and holding you back. Of course that doesn't mean that you'll sail through life now, and battling against self sabotage and our inner voices, is no easy work. But if we can be aware and realise what we are doing, THEN we can do something proactive to show the world that we are worthy of being happy and healthy.

Thoughts become things...

When we are feeling low, depressed or anxious we easily get dragged into the negative talk, negative thoughts and negative actions. Which then acts as a merry-go- round that is difficult to get off. 🎡
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BUT the main thing is to recognise that we can break this cycle, even in our darkest hour with the duvet over our heads, frozen...there is lots we CAN do. It's important to recognise that the more often than not, the thoughts that are ruminating around our brains, are just thoughts, they aren't facts. For example; thinking that you aren't good enough because you have had a lie in and missed your first meeting, then you get a churning feeling in your stomach about letting that other person down, that makes you pull the duvet even more over your head and not get out of bed for the rest of the day.🛌
BUT instead if we rationalise, call a positive person, tell Sandra to Fuck off, and remember that actually you are bloody knackered because your over worked and need a break. BE KIND TO YOURSELF 💚it was ONE meeting, that can be rearranged. But you can remember how awful you will feel by staying in bed all day, and using that to get you to your second meeting. OR saying, actually I'm feeling awful today, I need to cancel all the rest of my meetings and go for a walk or work from home in pjs and pants, 🙈whilst watching 'Olivia and Alex Said Yes', then give yourself the love, attention and permission to do this. 
You're only human and not a robot, 🤖those thoughts aren't serving you well and they are ruining your day. Break through that initial barrier and carry on being bad ass.💪🏻💚

Just say NO...

Like so many other things in our lives, we want to help others, offer a bit of ourselves, without thinking about the impact or effect that it has on us, and our mental health.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Of course it's important to say yes to lots of new things, and explore what is new and keep progressing. But only if that will be good for us too. Some selfless tasks are lovely to do and helping others actually has a positive effect on our mental health. But we need to balance it out if we only hear ourselves saying yes all of the time.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Yes I can go out, even though you're really tired and need an early night.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yes I can take that bit of work for you, even though your work load is sky high.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yes I can sit here for 2 hours, at least once a week, listening to your problems, with no resolution or mutual conversation. Yes, yes, yes...wait no! I can't do that today as that will have a huge impact on me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you feel like the yes is causing you stress and meaning that you are feeling resentful, this is when we need to start practicing the occasional no. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We can't do it all, and the need to please in some of us over rides the need to have our needs met. To realise that you are important too, and you matter.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

You shouldn't let it burn...

I think we need to talk more about BURNOUT. This happens when we run our bodies and minds like a machine or a robot. It might be that we are busy, super stressed or just not recognising that we are important too. We deserve as much care, attention and love as those around us.

We need to make sure that we are hopping over into self regulation mode and doing lots of self care when we can feel our triggers coming to the surface. For me it's when I feel irritable, not able to concentrate or excessively tired. These are all symptoms that if I ignore could lead to burnout, or a downward spiral to becoming out of control and having to take more severe measures to feel well again, like long term counselling or taking time off sick from work.

When we are stressed our immune system is lowered, so we are more likely to get ill and we are less able to cope with even the tiniest added stress. Like spilling some coffee or someone cutting you up on the road, results in us exploding.

BUT if we don't ignore our bodies and mind telling us to slow down and simply acknowledge that today I'm going to hop over into self care island and do as much as I can to get back on track then it will result in you being more able to cope with everything.

Work out what you works for you, so it's not everyones bag to have a steaming hot bath, or read a book. It might be more up your street to have a dance in the kitchen or take the time to make a nutritious meal. YOU ARE WORTH THIS TIME OVER ON SELF CARE ISLAND. Thos around you will feel the ripple effect, and you are teaching little eyes and ears that they must lead by example. You are only human.